Why the Right needs to shut the fuck up

…Wherein I comment on some of the outrages of the ignorant Right.

Manufactured Outrage 1:  Obama is far left.

Response:  Bullshit.  If you want to see far left, look at those of us who are so pissed that he’s so moderate.  I’ve been patient with him because I know you can’t get things done with my politics, but you fucks better take the compromises he’s offering because you’re damn lucky.  Your guy fucked up this country so bad for the last 8 years that you need to shut the fuck up and get out of the way.

MO 2:  Obama is Hitler.

Response:  What the fuck are you talking about?  You just said he was a socialist.  What the fuck kind of fascist-socialist hybrid are you imagining?  Oh, that’s right, you don’t really know what any of that shit means in the first place, you just know it’ll scare the pinheads.

MO 3:  Obama’s talking to your kids.

Response:  Now this is where you’re showing your true racist colors.  I know, I know, “It has nothing to do with race.”  Bullshit.  You just don’t want to admit it, so you inflate your objections to him and pretend that’s what really has you going.  Truth is, you don’t want that black man talking to your kids because you want them to grow up just as backward as your ignorant ass.  When W was in there, you were all, “Respect your president no matter what!  Where’s your flag pin?”  So show the man who actually won an election a little respect.  Don’t be such an obvious hypocrite.

MO 4:  Obama isn’t a real Christian.

Response:  Obama is far more Christian than your guy.  Talking about Jesus whenever it’s convenient doesn’t make you a Christian.  What would Jesus do?  He’d sure as fuck be in favor of universal health care, whatever the cost.  He’s sure as hell be in favor of spreading the wealth around.  He’d sure as hell not go around trashing gay couples in love.

MO 5:  Van Jones.

Response:  This one’s a little less severe, but shut the fuck up about this too.  Your guy doesn’t even believe in global warming, so ignore what you don’t like about the guy who’s trying to transform the economy to one that doesn’t rape the planet and destroy the land you get off on hunting on.

MO 6:  Imported beer.

Response.  Shut the fuck up.  You didn’t even know that Budweiser wasn’t American anymore, and you couldn’t find Belgium on a map.

My apologies to the dignified among us who are better at polite discourse; I’m fed up.

5 Responses to Why the Right needs to shut the fuck up

  1. gregp says:

    Do go on. I feel like I’m getting my first vacation in ten years.

  2. HammHawk says:

    Thanks, Greg. I must say, it feels kinda good to throw decorum out the window and just say what I think. Now I know why they do it on FauxNews all the time. Difference is, I can back all this up.

  3. Therese says:

    Bravo! Well said.

  4. you are either a gentile who isnt from new orleans or a jew…thereby you are liberal and havent dealt with black people for that long or lived with them in large quantities growing up…thats why whites from deep south (slave remnant states) like la, ms, al, ga etc are sooo racist….integration hasnt worked….we always have to self segregate…….black people are the scourge of the earth……thats why obama will fail…too many people hate negros

    • hammhawk says:

      Thanks, Therese.
      You too, tofuwholefoodslover. But just to clarify, I think negros is spelled negroes, and there’s a little button over to the sides of your keyboard that will let you capitalize some letters. Otherwise, you might look like a moron or something, and we can’t have that!

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