I mentioned before that I’m happy when I can’t get into something because it’s sold out (because it means we’re happening), and frankly, I wish it wasn’t that way.
When I was at the ACL fest in September, I saw everything through a New Orleans lens. I couldn’t just enjoy the music; I had to think about what they might be doing differently from us and whether we should change. I couldn’t just enjoy the crowd; I had to wonder how it compared to JazzFest’s. That sucks. It’s not I-have-nowhere-to-live bad, but it’s a drag, and I know it’s taking a toll on all of us. It leads us to be defensive and critical of others who don’t deserve it. It leads us to be closed-minded–If it’s not NOLA… it’s CRAP! And it probably leads us to be, at least occasionally, a big drag to our non-local friends and families.
I remembered some mook a while back had a letter in the paper from an ex-local who implored us all to move to greener pastures where we wouldn’t feel the weight on our shoulders. I cringed at the tone because nothing gets better without effort, and NO would die without its people, but her point also resonated some with me. As many people have observed, it wasn’t easy to live here before, and it sure as hell hasn’t gotten easier. I have no intention of leaving until, as Ashley says, til the last levee falls, but I’m envious of people who live where they don’t feel like the city rests on their shoulders. In the grand scheme, I don’t do that much, but I sure worry about it. I feel guilty when I don’t go see music or support a local artist. I live in regret over all the people I haven’t helped. I ask how the turnout was at anything I didn’t go to in hopes that I wasn’t missed (talk about egocentric), and I’ve felt anxious when I’ve been at poorly attended events.
It also sucks that one of our pre-K sources of comic relief–politics–is no longer very funny. I long for the days when I could have just laughed at the foibles of Nagin, Jordan, Foti, Vitter, etc, but these days, the stakes are higher, and although I confess to some amusement, I get pissed that they don’t take it as seriously as I do. The flood has taken some of the fun out of living in a banana republic, and that’s enough cause to impeach the prick on Pennsylvania Ave.