Thanks for the Love, Dad

This is the kind of bullshit my dad sends me:

Denver News:

This text is from a county emergency manager out in the western
part of Jefferson County after the snowstorm.

Up here, in the Northern Plains, we just recovered from a Historic
event; may I even say a “Weather Event” of “Biblical Proportions”
with a historic blizzard of up to 44″ inches of snow and winds to
90 MPH that broke trees in half, knocked down utility poles, stranded
hundreds of motorists in lethal snow banks, closed ALL roads, isolated
scores of communities and cut power to 10’s of thousands.

George Bush did not come.
FEMA did nothing.
No one howled for the government.
No one blamed the government.
No one even uttered an expletive on TV.
Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton did not visit.
Our Mayor did not blame Bush or anyone else.
Our Governor did not blame Bush or anyone else, either.
CNN, ABC, CBS, FOX or NBC did not visit – or report on this category 5 snowstorm.
Nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.
No one asked for a FEMA Trailer House.
No one looted.
Nobody – I mean Nobody demanded the government do something.
Nobody expected the government to do anything, either.
No Larry King, No Bill O’Rielly, No Oprah, No Chris Mathews and
No Geraldo Rivera.
No Shaun Penn, No Barbara Striesand, No Hollywood types to be found.
Nope, we just melted the snow for water.
Sent out caravans of SUV’s to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars.
The truck drivers pulled people out of snow banks and didn’t ask for a penny.
Local restaurants made food and the police and fire departments delivered it to the snowbound families.
Families took in the stranded people – total strangers.
We fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Coleman lanterns.
We put on extra layers of clothes because up here it is “Work or Die”.
We did not wait for some affirmative action government to get us out of a mess created by being immobilized by a welfare program that trades votes
for ‘sittin at home’ checks.

Even though a Category “5” blizzard of this scale has never fallen this
early, we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.
In my many travels, I have noticed that once one gets north of about 40 degrees North Latitude, 90% of the world’s social problems evaporate.
It does seem that way, at least to me.

I hope this gets passed on.

Maybe SOME people will get the message.
The world DOES NOT owe you a living or anything else for that matter.

I’ve never understood why my dad sends the insensitive chainmails and offensive jokes, considering he at least claims to know what I do for a living. And he still forwards this even though every other one contains an urban legend or something.

I thought this one was just a racist prick ranting, but even that much is made up. Thanks, Snopes.

Sadly, though, there are a lot of people around the country who think that the snowstorm-Katrina comparison is valid. They also think waterboarding is about getting wet and rape is punishment for dressing sexy. Fucking bastards.

Update: Mike (& commenters) @ BloggingNewOrleans already trashed this one over a month ago. Maybe his dad knows my dad!


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